Living Single

I don't think you can really appreciate companionship without ever being single. in my 24 years, i have never lived alone. I've always had a roommate and if they left for an extended period, i slept by a friend's house. One week from tomorrow marks my first week anniversary as a single women living in DC. I have to answer to no one but myself and God. That's a surreal feeling. For the past year and a half I have wanted to live alone and understand the experience first hand. [Anecdote: Last night I came out the shower, music playing "i will survive" (how fitting) and i preceded to mouth the lyrics silently! About half way through the song i questioned my motives for remaining silent. Who would i disturb with my Pro Art voice? NO ONE! I had no one to annoy, no one to consider, no one to offend! Coming to this realization i preceded to belt for the top of my lungs "so go ahead now. walk out the door. just turn around now cause you're not welcomed anymore!"]

Turn around cause unless your name is Posh , you're really un-welcomed for more than a brief visit!

Before my sister left, she warned me not to invite to many (men-es) folk over. That i needed to live single and learn how to be alone, which i believe is a natural process of maturing and development. It really would be so simple living in chocolate city to have a companion over at my beck and call. But where's the challenge in that? At which point would i be able to spend quality time with Posh? So i have decided to heed my big sister's advice and taking a break from the men-es!

If there is one thing i have realized is that it is too simple to get wrapped up in your lover or significant other. You start loosing yourself and next thing you know you are defined by the other person. Not to sound narcissistic, but i enjoy my company and really like myself. It would be a disservice to myself and my romantic interest to loose myself as our relationship grows. Until i'm really to stay true to myself despite it all, which i believe comes with spending time alone, I will not be ready to enter into a healthy long term relationship. Serial Monogamy is for the weak. I pride myself in being strong (some may say i'm a masochist).

Living single ain't easy. but like so many other things in our lives, we get through it. And who knows, maybe this is preparing me for something greater!

'til the next entry...keep living!