An Elaborate Co-Sign/Intertwined

While reading Posh's last post, I was nodding my head the whole way. Somewhere along the way, I finally got off the serial monogamy train. Solitude has never been hard for me though being raised as an only child. But these last couple of breaks have been especially rewarding. Something about the quiet. Its easier to reflect, to sift through all the minutiae and gunk that has built up and truly define yourself. When I broke up this time last year, it was like a burden was lifted. The mental equivalent of singing at the top of your lungs while prancing naked in your apartment.

And throughout this time I learned when I needed to bring my voice down, or put on some clothes cause it was getting too cold, or maybe that I wanted to dance. But getting more in love with myself along the way (have to continue the narcissism)

Now that I find myself back in the throes of romantic kinship, the sharpening that transpired during my solitude has come back rewarding in a plethora of ways. For one, its been a lot easier just to be myself without fear that I am compromising myself. When I choose to dance, literally or figuratively, I've been doing it without fear of repercussion. In no way am I under the delusion that I am immutable. Growth is a necessary component of life. Part of the reason that I think we desire companionship so much is that it is another extension of growth. But knowing what you need to work on, what you need to adapt, and more importantly what is absolute for you is beyond measurable value. That only can happen with solitude.

There is one benefit that I actually forgot until I got caught up again. Having someone appreciate the uncompromised you, peculiarities and flaws out there for everyone to see, is particularly fulfilling. And appreciating the differences in each other is just as rewarding as appreciating the similarities. I know I should stop singing, pick some damn clothes, and get some degrees under my belt. But actually being able to tell someone that and accept it. I'll describe it if I ever find the appropriate words. It is beautiful to know and love yourself; sharing yourself is just another beautiful experience.

Full disclosure: this is the honeymoon period. But the fact that the honeymoon is even taking place is remarkable because this is one of the most dismal periods of my life. It's an optimistic misery that has taken hold but still it hasn't been fun. When Ecclesiastes and Lamentations become real for you, it can be pretty bleak. But noticing the potential for sunshine has been uplifting, and my mental acuity was developed during my adventures across the universe of me. As I venture out, the experience is all the more rewarding.

I have high hopes for this one, even though its early. Part of it is that I am getting anxious about the whole thing. Time is a charmer and convinced Hair to run away with her. But being me is pretty easy with her and I can tell that being herself is natural in front of me as well, and that's hard to admit for both of us. It's nice finding out if we're right though.

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Now playing: Reflection Eternal - The Blast (Extended Version)