Our shift was blessed with a lazy Sunday due to the hangover from Thanksgiving visits. Time was so unoccupied that my co-worker had time to look up the profile of her zodiac sign. Bored myself and mildly curious of the astrology thing myself I shared what I had found on my own time and we found more together.
Due to an ill-advised late energy drink,Posh was treated to a soliloquy about relationships fueld partially by the profile pages I had viewed earlier. She merely asked if I was envious of the married couples that seem to be proliferating amongst our peer group. Instead I bullrushed with a stream of consciousness. And ot some degree I am envious, but I'm also aware I'm not ready to even consider the step they all are taking.
This was just one more in a series of conversations we have been having as Posh is just getting a minor existential crisis in her rearview mirror. The birthday celebrations actually touched off a series of unfortunate events that Limony Snicket would have been proud to claim authorship. At its worst, she commiserated with fictional courtesans and went out to party mere hours before work. Logic and sanity have returned, but still at the heart of the whole matter are th difficulties in obtaining the companionship we both seek.
Chalk it up as one more incendiary device in the war field of Adulthood. We're raised to desire certain things and be able to handle certain responsibilities. but truly understanding the stressors can only come with experience. And so far t he experience is like a huge dose of Castor oil.
We know that eventually we need to pay our own way, but finding the job you desire, if you have even settled on a career path, is a hassle. And look at you with your job, but surrounded by inept idiots. So that's why mom and dad were muttering under their breaths at the dinner table. Finally the love you were taught to want so badly, that love you innately crave, well that example in your home was built on questionable circumstances and was threatened by third parties who may or may not have provided your parents carnal pleasure you thought was solely the domain of soap operas and epic movies. If you manage to not be completely disillusioned and still strive for some tolerable facsimile of a loving relationship, there are a bunch of obstacles you never could have imagined. Plus career, money, and love all seem to be interrelated and influence each other.
Somebody let me off this ride!
I personally thought it would be a bit simpler. I grew up hearing that my mom first noticed my dad cause he was actually wearing dress socks at church. naively I have been looking for that special anecdote to unlock that amazing relationship but have come up short. Parents love to tell the stories of how they met, but they omit every false hope that was crushed and all the wrong paths they took before they made that connection. And they totally de-emphasize the fact that it was totally random.
Jeremiah 29:11 says God has a plan, better than anything we mortals can imagine. I'm a try to just look up and let Him lead. We'll see how that works.
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