Disclaimer: what you're about to read is about GOD!

I just need to testify on the goodness of God and how He just keeps on keeping on.

1st: He is an on time God. you're heard it said before, but it is just now that i'm experienceing it! i've been having some greater than natural (according to me)growing pains. it ain't easy making the decision to cut yourself off from mom and dad's money bags and stick by it especially when you live in a city as expensive as dc with all the cost associated with life and have car! i've made that choice and i'm proud of it. moving on... recently left a secure and decent paying job with potenial for salary growth and bonuses for a profession in public administration working for the district government, a job which lack security and offered me a $2000 pay cut! (i's crazy). i decided to take a leap of faith!

but here is where God shows up. two weeks before i quit my secure job i knew that i would need to get a second job for supplemental income, make up for the pay cut. i'd been looking around, called a few places and got nothing. one week before i quit, a friend comes into town and we opt to eat at a restauant a few blocks from my house. i inquire, i fill out a job application, two days later i'm trainging!

i started with the district government the first of this month, just to find out that they were in the middle of a pay period meaning that it would be another 3 weeks before i see my first pay check. typically i would have freaked out, but this time i just praised the Lord of his incomprehensible timing. my little waitressing job (2 nights a week)has been able to sustain me during this intrim. yeah i can't go out and drink or party (let it be known that i have gone out a few time recently and have not really been inclined to drink...you thinking what i'm thinking?) like i use to, but i do have a roof over my head and my belly full! :)

i serve a great God who looks after me even when i'm to lazy, stupid, careless to look after myself. i'm trying to keep it i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t, but it seems like every time i think i have it under control, i get thrown a curveball forcing me to step back. as much as i would love to be in control, sometimes the best thing to do is let go and loose all control. if in doing so i'm deferring to God, i'll do it; for Him, failure is NEVER an option.

this is just the most recent revelation on who great God is and continues to be to me.

i just felt compelled to share this with you. hope you are encouraged or inspired.

i leave now with two text. the first being my new found favorite:

"delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Ps 37:4)

"therefore I say unto you, be not anxious for your life... and which of you by being anxious can add one cubit unto his stature?" (Matt 6:25-34)

in love,

posh

A Change We Can Believe In

This post is not about the next president of these united states of america, although i did stop by the cvs this morning and picked up a historical collector's edition devoted solely to mr. obama!

but this blog is about fat people in america. i'm not particularly snobbish when it comes to this issue because i have struggled with the bulge and my mother is a size 16. it's just that what i saw this morning has compelled me.

for starters i got on the bus and the only seat available was next to a larger middle aged woman. she took up her seat and a third of mine. i sat with a third of my body in the isle. as patrons walked through the isle to get on and off the bus they, along with their bags, all bumped me. i received many apologies, but the experience was nonetheless uncomfortable. what stuck me the most was that the large woman next to me did not appear to feel a bit uncomfortable. she was in her own world as if she were entitled to take up 1 1/3 of the 2 seats available! at least try to "shrink" yourself! try to contain your fatness by moving closer to the window and not sprawling out while you read your morning newspaper!

it continues...at one particular bus stop i saw a larger, middle aged black women smoking while walking. as the bus approached, she stopped and observed who got off the bus. cool. when all passengers had gotten off, she proceeded to walk across the street in the crosswalk continuing to smoke. next thing i know, she is stopped again on the other side of the road for what appears to be a "breather!" are you kidding me!

what broke the camel's back was every other person (mostly women. i'm not sure where the men are, but that's a different blog)i saw on the street walking to their respective destinations. someone tell me why they were not fat they were obese! rolls upon rolls. derriere giggling at its own pace. arm fat like i've never seen it before. i felt disgusted.

a change we can believe in is getting the black population fit and healthy. i'm not by any means as fit or healthy as i should be. i have not ran in a few months and my body is hating me for it. but i have not allowed myself to let go completely. some days i do eat a salad. once a month i may eat fries from McDonald's (that was yesterday!) McDonald's is not the breakfast of champions. black folk, stop heading over there every morning to start your day. eat oatmeal! try eating for lunch foods that are not fried. maybe opt for something grilled. incorporate more veggies and fruit, whole grains in your diet. stay away from processed starches, sugars and carbs!

gracious for the love of yourself,do something healthy! walk those extra blocks!

i just needed to vent.

til the next time,

posh

a moment of silence

7 years ago this day is clearly embedded in my mind and the minds of other americans and our global community.

it was a surreal experience.

7 years have past and it is up to the global community to ensure that such atrocities do not occur in any country. attacks on unarmed civilians transcends our federal government and is a concern of the human community.

let this day remind us of our fragility and humanity. god bless us all.

posh

The truth about Cats and Dogs (PG-13)

I've never seen the movie, but the older i get i realize there are stark differences between men and women.

Those who know me, know that i proudly refer to myself as "the son my dad never had." I grew up hanging out with and around my dad-- doing all the chores and running errands with him. later during my adolescent years i (not so proudly this time) "rejected my femininity." i made it my business to dress like a man (baggy clothes) only hang around dudes and play bodyguard whenever my sisters and i went out. If ever i were interested in a guy, i would be the one to make the first move; i would be the one courting the him. at age 21 i decided enough was enough. i would sit back and be chased...what women are "suppose" to do.

sidebar--[two things: 1) those years were awkward. i was a lot heavier and ultra self conscious. my actions reflected my insecurities and my wanting to protect myself. 2) i have now in my wisdom (all 24 years) realized that the man to whom i've been attracted in the the past often display effeminate traits. i can only say that this is residue from my adolescent years.]

so how does this relate to cats and dogs? it goes a little like this:
cat: hey babe. i can't wait to be held in your arms. have a great day!
dog: n my arms, n ur legs, it all works love.

this is real. one can't make this up!

slowly but surely i'm accepting that i want romance and intimacy and having this desire is not a sign of weakness or vulnerability; it's remaining true to myself. I want just being in your presence to be sufficient. and if one day, after the lord sanctifies our being together (not necessarily through the gov't institution of marriage) then you'll experience being n each other's legs!